by Bill Cox
They first came for me when I was nine years old. Initially I thought they were angels – my parents were very religious. After a while though I realised that much of what they did to me wasn’t very angelic.
They were always heralded by the light. It was a light that seemed to be both inside and outside of my head, so bright and penetrating. I would hear their thoughts, then they would take me and I would wake up somewhere else. I was always left with the uneasy feeling that something bad had happened, but I could never quite remember what it was.
I read Whitley Strieber’s ‘Communion’ when I was fifteen. I saw it perched on a shelf in the school library, that awful face on the cover looking out at me. I almost fainted there and then.
After I read the book I realised that I had been both right and wrong. They weren’t of this world, but they also weren’t angels. I was also ecstatic that I wasn’t alone, that others had experienced the same things I had.
That euphoria was short-lived. The abductions became more frequent and took a greater toll on my health, both mental and physical. My parents took me to doctor after doctor, but once I opened up to them about the root cause of my distress, they took me to see a psychiatrist. After a spell in Brookwood ‘Clinic’, I came home exhausted and on anti-psychotic meds.
I started to believe that maybe I was mentally ill. They never came for me when I was on the meds, and surely the government or the army would know if aliens were kidnapping and interfering with people.
Things calmed down for a while, and eventually I came off the medication and moved away to college. I even had a boyfriend, and there was a time when life felt good, when I took enjoyment out of the everyday pleasures.
Four months ago they came for me again. I woke up the next morning in my bed, still wearing yesterday’s clothes. I knew something was different. There’s a saying about feeling things in your bones and I could feel it; a change within me. When I was sick the next morning I rushed out to the chemist and bought a pregnancy test. It was positive.
They tell me my due date isn’t for months yet, but I know that my baby is growing faster than normal. I know that the ‘angels’ won’t let me keep it, and I dread the day that I see the light again and they come for my child. They have taken so much from me – my childhood, my sanity, my right to a normal life. For the first time though, I am determined to fight them, to do everything in my power to keep my baby, even if it is half what they are.
When that light comes, I will be ready.