Directions on Where to Go After the Fall

by Lina Abdul-Samad

 

Where do you go after the Fall?

You go somewhere in your mind. Enter a murky neighborhood that you promised not to return to in the Past. But you’re here now. Once again.

So where do you go?

You tread on the endless sidewalk. Take a stroll down your Past and open a door to your Fears. It’s sick how much you despise this place, yet you know it so well. Your fingers extend for Fear’s doorknob because it’s the only thing within reach. The wind chime of your bones rattles at times like these; you are reminded of the memories that remain coiled inside of your skeleton.

Your Fears and Failures visit you. Like lost lovers, they outstretch their arms to become a part of you once more. They are always too welcoming with their icy whispers and convincing rhymes.

You. You have been here before, remember?

But this time, Fear’s song does not seduce your bones. Your bones don’t rattle as much as they used to in the Past.  You are more familiar with this neighborhood. Remember when you got lost on Self-Pity lane and couldn’t see from the fog down at Self-Doubt side? Those places are still there, if you’d like to visit.

It’s OK to fall back here sometimes. Sure, this neighborhood isn’t the brightest, or the friendliest. Yet you need to come back. Can you tell how different it becomes after every Fall? How small this place really is? Soon you will expand into a thousand suns and this neighborhood will wither dry.  Just make a left at the Realization corner. You’ll find the stairs. Take each step slowly. Breathe. You might fall back here again. On that day, you will be greater, and this neighborhood will seem like it doesn’t fit you anymore. But for now, just take each step. The Future train awaits. Breathe. You are brighter than this place. Breathe.

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